Last Updated: March 2026
By signing up for HECKL, you agree to let a bot mercilessly critique your lifestyle choices. If you are easily offended, leave now. We are not liable for any hurt feelings, bruised egos, or sudden realizations that you are, in fact, an NPC.
The Sadist and Pro tiers are billed monthly. You can cancel at any time, but the Drill Sergeant will definitely call you a quitter. No refunds for "it was too mean." That's literally what you paid for.
By enabling the Sadist tier and connecting your social accounts, you grant HECKL explicit permission to post public roasts about your failures. You cannot sue us for ruining your online reputation because you failed to drink 3 glasses of water.
HECKL is provided "as is." We do not guarantee that our abuse will actually fix your life. That part is entirely up to you.